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The Personal Development Issues That Abused People Face and Why It Matters

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There are a few personal development issues that you might face if you were abused. You could be mentally and emotionally stunted in your growth from the trauma you faced. Your mind gets stuck on staying in survivor mode. Whatever happened to you, you were able to survive. That is what the brain does when there is trauma.

However, that is not a reason to not work on yourself and work on the abuse that you faced. Working on yourself is the best and the fastest way to get your life back. To be able to stand up and say “that I may have gone through that abuse and trauma, but I have made it to the other side of life”.

I first got out of my abusive relationship, I didn’t work on myself. In return, I became bitter and mad at the world. I didn’t know at the time that the reason for this was because of the abuse I had gone through for months and months of my life with my abuser. I just knew that I was not happy with my life at all. I wasn’t able to find satisfaction in anything.

I was told by my mentor and therapist about personal development and how it would help me look at the areas of my life. That I needed to take an inventory of my life up until that point and really take a look at what I had put myself through and what others have done to me.

The biggest thing I learned and something I hope that you will learn from this blog is that we put ourselves in some risky situations, and we do some risky behavior. Especially when we choose to go back to our abuser. Trust me, I know how hard it is to stay away. I went back to my abuser after getting away from him. I put myself back in that bad situation. That however is a lesson for another day.

Before we jump into the issues that you might face, let’s first look at what personal development is and how it can empower you to get your life back.

What is personal development

Personal development is when people work on themselves, so they can better themselves in life. There are many ways to do this.

Some ways would be to take an online course, go back to school, learn a new skill, go to church, read a self-development book, start a 30-day personal development challenge, find a life coach, set up goals, and ask for help.

Personal development is important because it lets people take a look at their lives. They are able to see what is working and what isn’t working for them. How they are able to improve those areas of their lives that are not working out for them.

There are five areas of personal development. Those five areas are mental, this is where you become mentally stronger. There is social that is communication with others. Spiritual, this is your higher power (something greater than yourself). Emotional is your emotions and the last one is physical where you work on your body.

The best personal development I have found that I love to use is taking online courses to learn new skills for my life and for my blog. I also love to journal. If journaling is your thing or if you want to learn how to journal, I have a post here about journaling with prompts. This I have found is a very freeing thing to do, and I am able to just write out my feelings and my thoughts. I also do that here with my blog while talking to you through my articles.

Black board with Personal Development wrote on the black board

Benefits of Personal Development

There are many benefits when you practice personal development. There is a rise in your self-esteem, gives you confidence, clarifies your goals, gives you direction in your life, has a happier life, and gives you purpose in life. That is just to name a few. There are so many benefits that you will gain through personal development.

I started my personal development journey years ago, I have gained many benefits. I know that it may seem scary or a bit overwhelming at first. Stick with it, though, and you will see the benefits.

The Role of Personal Development in Recovery from Abuse

We often don’t realize the importance of self-development until we are in recovery. It can be challenging to know what steps to take when we feel like we don’t have anyone to help us.

Personal development can be a great way of healing and rebuilding ourselves after abuse because it is an opportunity for personal growth and usually doesn’t require the same level of commitment as other types of recovery. This is one of the most important ways that we can work on our recovery and reclaim our power: by taking small steps every day over time.

It is not uncommon for people who have been abused to feel ashamed, dirty, or guilty, which affects their ability to get better. Personal development helps us remember that we are human beings who deserve love and respect, no matter what we have been through.

I do understand the negative feelings that come from an abusive relationship. Those feelings are what can hold you back from being able to have personal growth.

You will find hope in your recovery and personal development by waking up every day and deciding how you are going to incorporate personal development into your day. At first, this may feel like a chore, but it will eventually just become part of your day.

I can't wrote on a slip of paper and scissors cutting the T off to make I can

How Negative Self-Talk Affects Recovery from Abuse

Negative self-talk is not the only contributor to the lack of recovery from abuse.

Negative self-talk is when we tell ourselves that we are not good enough, that we are ugly, or that we are not worth anything. It is negative talk we tell ourselves because that is what we have heard our abuser say to us.

Physical and sexual abuse can cause trauma and PTSD.

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like abuse and rape. PTSD is Post-traumatic stress disorder is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event.

In this case, you need to look into going to a doctor for medicine if the trauma and PTSD are affecting your daily life. Also, look for a therapist that you can go and talk to.

Use the resources that are available to you and get the help that you need for any mental illness the abuse has caused.

I go to my doctor’s appointments and my therapy sessions every week for therapy and monthly for the doctor. It has and is helping me with the trauma and PTSD that comes from the abuse.

It is not a one-time thing, and you are all better. It takes time to heal from the trauma and the abuse. That is why I say that I am still on my personal development journey. I feel that personal development is a lifelong journey.

It takes work on your part to get the help you need and the support you need for the trauma and PTSD.

Negative self-talk is a tool that we use to keep ourselves safe, but sometimes it can also be a barrier to recovery.

This barrier that negative self-realization brings is negative energy. Negative energy will only bring you down and prolong your recovery from the abuse.

If you find yourself in negative self-talk, I want you to stop that thought and use positive affirmations. When you do this, you will bring positive energy back into your life and start to feel better about yourself.

Negative self-talk is tough to get out of because you have been told how worthless you are or that you are useless. After some time we start to believe this and believe that we can not do anything right.

I would talk horribly to myself. I would put myself down daily and if I messed up on something, I thought how useless and helpless I was in life. I learned that I was worth something and that I wasn’t useless, I am actually pretty talented. I was able to turn the negative self-talk around with daily positive affirmations.

Here are a couple of examples of daily positive affirmations.

  • I am good enough
  • I am talented
  • I am God’s child
  • I can do anything I put my mind too
  • I am not useless
  • I am not worthless

When you say something negative about yourself turn it around into a positive statement. Get rid of that negative energy that you are putting into your life.

Woman holding a small bottle of essential oil

The Importance of Self-Care as a Tool for Overcoming the Effects of abuse

Self-care is a term used to describe the actions, activities, and behaviors done by individuals to increase their health and wellness. Emotional self-care is a form of self-care that is specifically focused on one’s emotional wellness.

It can include activities such as:

  • Taking a hot bath with essential oil
  • Listening to your favorite song on repeat
  • Being around your loved ones and friends
  • Read your favorite book
  • Journal
  • Go out for a walk
  • Enjoy nature
  • Exercising
  • Drink more water

In the past few decades, there has been an increase in awareness regarding mental health and wellness. In particular, there has been an emphasis on self-care as it relates to emotional wellness. Self-care is often referred to as one of the most important tools an individual can use for overcoming the effects of abuse.

Self-care habits are important to show yourself self-love. When you practice self-care you are bringing positive energy into your life therefore you will have less negative self-talk and will be able to see when you are being negative.

There need to be some self-love goals in your personal development plan. A personal development plan is when you write out your goals and the action steps you require doing to achieve your goal.

Self-love goals can be any of the activities listed above. It is the act of doing something for yourself. This is not selfish, either. This is a must for your recovery.

Why it is Important to Have a Support System as You Recover from Abuse

Having a strong support system can help someone recover from abuse. They have a crucial role in the healing process.

We should not underestimate the importance of having a support system in your life when you’re dealing with something like abuse or addiction. It can be essential to your mental and physical well-being and it is what makes the difference between success and failure when you’re trying to recover from an abusive situation.

There are support groups that are great for recovery from abuse. There are also many types of recovery groups that meet in person or online. I like the groups on Facebook for support.

When looking for a support system make sure that they are giving you value in your recovery and that they are uplifting. You don’t want to get into a group and everyone is being the victim always never looking for solutions or for guidance. This could harm your recovery by bringing you down into negative energy.

When you make your personal development plan, make sure to add this as a goal. To find a support group that you like and brings value to your life. Your action steps could be going online and looking for support groups in your area or virtual support groups. Actually, go to the support group if they have a meeting time rather than in person or online. Meet the women and get to know them.

The best support system I had was a group of women who were my mentors and one was a life coach. Together these women showed me how to live life again, how to express how I was feeling, showed me love when I couldn’t love myself, and they lifted me up.

Find a mentor, life coach, or both, make sure they bring value and positive energy to your life. You can find mentors online and in person. Life coaching I would love to help you out with. Being a woman empowerment coach, I help women regain their personal power and confidence. I help them build up a positive life and positive energy.

Just make sure with what you choose will be like a healing community for you.

A group of friends setting on the ground with their backs to the camera and their armas around one another

It is Okay to Seek Help for Emotional Comfort and Healing during Recovery from Abuse

It is okay to ask for help during recovery from abuse. Our emotional health is just as important as our physical health. Emotionally, you have been through so much. You have been in survivor mode for so long that you may not know what healthy emotional health looks like. That is why working with a life coach and a professional is so important to your recovery from abuse.

Some people are healed by spiritual healers, while others are healed by therapists or love ones. It is okay to seek help for emotional comfort and healing during recovery from abuse, but it’s also important to know what will work best for you.

I know for me, I needed a great deal of emotional help. I had a village behind me when I was recovering from the abuse. I didn’t find these people overnight, either. Take your time and find your type of people. It can be anyone in this world, just as long as they are safe, positive, and have your best interest in their hearts. Make sure they are in your comfort zone.

Go and Crush Your Personal Development With Recovery

I hope that you found this information helpful. I know that it is a lot to take in. Remember that your personal development plan needs to have your abuse recovery in it. That you also need to include self-care in your plan. Don’t spend forever or get stuck on writing out a plan. It is just writing down your goals and then the steps to reach those goals. I made a printable for you so you can have an example and then make your own.

None of that will matter though if you stay stuck in negative self-talk and negative energy. Use affirmations as a way to uplift yourself and a way to talk positively to yourself. I am so proud of you for taking the first step to having a healthier and happier life.

If you ever need to talk or need some guidance, you can email me or comment on the post below, I will answer you back personally and help you in any way I can. I know the road in life is tough, but so are you.

I Would Love To Help You

My name is Melissa, and I am a women’s empowerment coach. I help women who have left toxic and abusive relationships rebuild their life and confidence. I have several ways you can work with me. Likewise, I have one on one coaching and I have a signature coaching program that helps you rebuild your life after abuse.

My signature coaching program is six months long. I would take you step by step on how to rebuild your life in a happy and positive way. Also, we would work on building up your confidence. We would be working closely together during the six months that you are going through the signature program.

If you would like to work with me, click on the link below and make an appointment for a day and time we can meet and talk. I am looking forward to helping you build up the life you have always wanted and the confidence to live that life.

Have a blessed day.

Recovery Guide

Have you left your toxic relationship but still feel lost, confused, and lonely? Do you wonder why things haven’t gone back to normal?

In the toxic relationship recovery guide, you will find the answers to those questions. The guide will direct you on what to do after a toxic relationship ends.

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