Ultimate Guide To Your Relationship

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Do you know what type of relationships there are?

Is your relationship healthy or unhealthy?

What about the communication style you have?

Also do you have boundaries set up?

If you are in a relationship of any kind with someone you need to be able to answer those questions.

I know that they seem a bit overwhelming.

That is why I have written this ultimate guide to knowing your relationship.

By the time you get done reading this guide you will be able to answer what type of relationship you are in.

What communication style you have in your relationships.

If you have boundaries set up or what boundaries to set up in your relationship.

The Different types of Relationships

  • Family – This is ideally the closest relationship you have. This could include blood relatives such as mom, dad, siblings, aunt, uncle, grandparents. Non-blood relatives such as wife, husband, in-laws. These are the people that you can depend on the most in your life. Is your family.
  • Friends – They are not our family they are people that we choose to spend our time with. Although I know that I have close friends that I consider to be part of my family.
  • Acquaintances – These people are the neighbors, co-workers, and people that we do not know that well but still have conversations with. We do not “hang out” with these people but are polite and decent too.
  • Romantic – These are the people that we spend most of our time with and even when apart we keep in contact with. This can be a boyfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend, or spouses. We trust these people with our secrets. We love this person on a deep level and they love us back on that level.
  • Self –  This is the relationship we have with ourselves. This is the most important relationship you will have. This is how we treat ourselves, talk to ourselves, and think about ourselves. Some people have a very poor relationship with themselves while others are too much in love with themselves. Then you have the healthy person who is just right in loving themselves.

11 Different Types of Romantic Relationships

There are different types of relationships that each person is in with another person this does not just have to be for couples.

This could be with anyone in your life that you have a relationship with.

  • Independent – This is good up to a point. Both partners do need to be independent but not to the point that there is no compromise.
  • Codependent – When one or both people can not be away from the other for any time period. One can not be happy unless their partner is happy. There is a line to being codependent in a healthy way and a unhealthy way.
  • Dominant/Submissive  – This is when one person in the relationship controls the other or when you let someone control you in the relationship
  • Open – Now a days this is becoming more common where the people can see other people. The couple are not faithful to just one another.
  • Changing – When one will change for the other to make happy or both people will change to make each other happy. Some change is good but not when you change who you are completely
  • Toxic – This is when the couple are not good for one another at all. One could be mean to the other. The couple are just not good together and just bring one another down.
  • Just for now” – this is not a serious relationship. It is just making each other happy in the now and have no plans in the future for the relationship
  • Best Friends – Both people are comfortable with the other but it only goes as best friends there is no “spark” a sexless relationship
  • Sexual – this is the opposite of the best friends this relationship is only based on the couple having sex with one another. There is no friendship or really no relationship just sex.
  • Long Distance- This is when the people do not really see each other much in person if they see each other at all. Usually they live far apart from one another.
  • Compatible – This is the perfect couple dynamic. This is the relationship that we all try to have. There is mutual respect, honesty, love, and boundaries in the relationship.

What matters most in a relationship

What matters most in a relationship is that both partners love each other unconditionally, have empathy for one another, open with one another, and mutual respect

Woman and Man setting at table eating together

What is a healthy relationship

A healthy relationship will have the following:

  • Support – should be supportive of one another
  • Openness – you should be able to open up to your partner and they open up to you
  • Unconditional love – there should be no conditions put on love. An example would be “ if you do not act a certain way then I will not love you”
  • Commitment – partners should only be commitmented to one another
  • Mutual respect – respect one another
  • Good communication –  should be able to talk openly and freely to your partner
  • Anger control – there should be no violence of any kind in your relationship
  • Honesty – should be honest with one another
  • Compromise – this is another big one, should be compromise and not just be what one partner wants and to bad for the other partner if they don’t
  • Trust – this should be 100%  if there is trust issues you might want to step back and discover why there is
  • Fighting fair – there will be arguments and when there is no shouting and listen to what your partner has to say
  • Individuality – you can have your own dreams in life and be able to go after them
  • Kindness – there should be no bullying in a relationship
  • Fun – you and your partner are able to have fun together

What are the 3 C’s of a healthy relationship

There is three C’s to a healthy relationship and every relationship should have them.

If your relationship is lacking one of these then it maybe time to step back and see if you are in a healthy or unhealthy relationship.

  • Communication
  • Compromise
  • Commitment

How do you tell if a relationship is going to work

There is no guarantee that a relationship will work out.

The best way to tell though is if you have all the characteristics that I listed above in a healthy relationship.

If you have all or most of them then I would say the relationship will work out.

If you have less than half you might want to step back and ask why that is and if you are wanting the relationship to work.

Man and Women having disagreement
Unhealthy Relationship

What are signs of a toxic relationship

There are several signs to a toxic relationship.

If you answer yes to having these signs then step back and really look at your relationship.

  • Lack of support – this is when you start feeling like you have no support from your partner.
  • Toxic communication – when  your partner is always putting you down during your conversations or making you feel less then.
  • Controlling behaviors – your partner wants to control everything you do in your life. What friends you can have, where you can and can’t go, wanting to know where you are at all the time
  • Jealousy – when your partner is not happy about any of your success. They get jealous that you are making something of your life and they are not.
  • Resentment – this will absolutely kill your relationship. This is when you hold on to a grunge and let it become worse and worse without working it out
  • Dishonesty – when you are not honest with your partner.
  • Patterns of disrespect – when in conversations your partner disrespects you and be littles you all the time. Has no respect for your time or your plans because they are always forgetting.
  • Constant stress – when you feel on edge all the time
  • Ignoring your needs – your partner is only worried about their needs
  • Lost relationships – such as with your friends and your family. You lose relationships slowly because of your relationship
  • Lack of self-care – you ignore your self-care needs and you no longer practice self-care for yourself
  • Hoping for change – you wish that your partner would change into a nicer person or that the relationship will change from how it is
  • Walking on eggshells – you feel that you have to be careful what you say or do when your partner is around
  • All take, no give – you give and give but never receive love or respect in return
  • You feel drained – when you are around the person you just feel so drained of energy.
  • There’s a clear imbalance of power – there is always going to be an imbalance of power in a relationship but not to the point where one person  always has the power over the relationship or over you
  • Your partner never takes responsibility – you are always the one that is blamed for everything bad that happens in the relationship, it is never your partners fault.
  • Your family and friends are concerned – when your family and friends express concern for your relationship, it might be for a good reason.
  • They do not bring the best out of you – when you are in a relationship you are suppose to bring out the best in one another and if this is not happening then something is wrong.
  • You don’t have a positive feeling ab out the future – you do not see a future with this person because they will not commit to anything in the future.

Why unhealthy relationships are bad

A unhealthy relationship can lead to an abusive relationship.

Just because your partner does not physically harm you do not mean they are not being abusive. Emotional abuse is often overlooked or not noticed because it leaves no visual mark.

Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

What should I do if I am in an unhealthy relationship

If you are in a unhealthy relationship and there is no sign of your partner wanting to change and make your relationship better then you need to leave if you can.

Some men will beg you to stay and to not leave them, they will say sorry and act generally, sorry.

However, that is usually not the case.

If your partner is not willing to change, doesn’t want you to leave, and is still being mean.

Then you could be dealing with a narcissist.

Women leaving with suitcase and man on floor begging woman to stay

When should you end a relationship

When a relationship has become abusive in any way emotionally or/and physically then you need to end that relationship.

Your abuser may not let you just leave though.

They could also get violent if you talk about leaving them.

Please get help and be careful leaving if you are in an abusive relationship.

Can a bad relationship cause mental illness

Yes, most definitely a bad relationship will cause mental illness.

Especially an abusive relationship.

This can cause anxiety, depression, and in extreme cases this can cause schizophrenia.

If your mental health is suffering because of your relationship then it is time to end that relationship.

End it as safe as you can.

What are the 4 types of communication styles

There are four different types of communication styles.

I will list each one and explain what they are.

See if you can find your communication style in here.

  1. Passive – these people will not express their own desires, needs, and wants. They will put your needs ahead of their own. If you belittle or make fun of this type of person it hurts them deeply.
  2. Passive Aggressive – these people will play the victim, have backhanded complaints, resentment, profuse apologizing, and behavior filled with deep sighs.
  3. Aggressive – these people insist that their rights and needs are above the most important thing at the time. Their needs and wants are way more important than yours.
  4. Assertive – these people have the right type of communication because they believe that their rights and needs are just as important as yours and that your rights and needs are as important as theirs. They believe it is equal.

Can you find the communication style that you are or that your partner might be?

Looking in a window at restaurant to a man and woman eating

Can a relationship work with different communication styles

Yes, a relationship can work with different communication styles as long as that each person is aware that there is a difference.

That both partners are willing to work on their communication style, so both can be more assertive when talking to each other.

What are relationship boundaries

Relationship boundaries are very important.

Boundaries are for our physical, mental, and emotional health.

Going through someone’s personal things is a violation of a boundary.

Touching someone when they do not want to be touched is also an unhealthy boundary.

Why are boundaries important in a relationship

Boundaries are important in any realtionship you are in with anybody.

This is a way for you to tell someone what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with.

Should love have boundaries

Yes, love needs to have boundaries so each partner knows what is expected from them.

Also, lets the partner know what is not acceptable in the relationship.

When someone you love keeps crossing boundaries this is a sign that they do not respect you and that you are in an abusive relationship rather it is physical or mental.

Boundary wrote in chalk on chalk board

How do you set boundaries with someone

You set boundaries with someone buy telling the person what you are willing to accept and not accept in a physical, emotional, and mental sense.

You tell the person if they are your partner that you are not willing to have sex or that you do not want to be touched in a certain way.

What are examples of personal boundaries

Some examples of personal boundaries are

  • Going through someone else’s personal belongings
  • Taking your anger out on someone
  • Touching in anyway
  • Invading of personal space

How do you set boundaries with a narcissist

Here is some ways you can set boundaries with a narcissist.

  • Have an exist plan
  • Do not justify yourself
  • Have compassion for yourself
  • Name what is happening
  • Return the focus to yourself

Remember that a narcissist really know no boundaries nor do they really care what yours are.

They only care about themselves.

If you find they can not follow your boundaries, and they keep breaking them, you may need to leave that person.

Why do I lack boundaries

When you lack self-esteem and self-worth you could lack boundaries.

Also, making excuses for your partner each time they break a boundary to the point that you are just lacking any boundaries at all.

Are you able to find the types of relationships in your life?

That there is so different ones, and it will be different depending on whom the relationship is with.

Do you know now if you are in a healthy relationship, unhealthy relationship, or in a unhealthy vs abusive relationship.

I hope that I was able to explain to you so you can know if your relationship is worth saving or if you need to leave.

Please though if you are in a abusive relationship please have a plan on leaving and have help.

It could be dangerous trying to leave.

Will you be able to communicate better with knowing the different communication styles in relationships?

Will you be able to set relationship boundaries with your partner or your loved ones?

If you have any questions or any comments about this post just leave them below or if you just want to say hi and need someone to talk with.

Feel free to contact me anytime.

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